whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
