we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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