you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
