My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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