Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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