my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
