Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
