just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
