i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
