Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
