we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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