I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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