so explain again why im purple
no
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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