His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
