why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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