Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
