new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
