I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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