Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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