Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
