I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
