Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
