Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
