She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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