i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
