can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
