Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
