I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
