someone owes me an orgasm
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
