You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We need a shit load of segways right now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
