That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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