omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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