I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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