Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
