We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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