Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
