i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
