I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
