so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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