at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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