Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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