well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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