marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
