i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
