I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
