I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
