Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
