dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
