C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
