she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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