found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
